Bleeding Heart

I've hurt my heart again this early morning...
By the way, its 0300AM, 14th November 2010..
Mr A just called me, and we talked for a very long period of time..
Time flies by so fast when we are talking..
I miss hearing his voice so damn much...
I can't recall back when is the last time I heard his voice clearly...
We talked about everything, about feeling, about heart...He said he miss me so much...
He said he doesn't know what to do with his life without me..
It just hurt my heart, because every time I denying my feeling towards him, my heart bleeding...again....
Although I keep being cool answering all his questions,what really happened in my heart, only me and God knows...
I don't even know whether he's being honest with me, or he's just playing with my fragile heart,But I know I can lie to myself even more..
I just can't keep going on like this..
Its killing me inside...Honestly, I just can't keep moving on....
I don't know what actually his feeling towards me...
But one thing for sure, Mr A is still in my heart..

I'm sorry Mr A, when you asked me whether I miss you or not, I just can't answer it, because it will hurt someone's else hurt ( Mr M )...
Deep in my heart, I feel like I wanna shout "I miss you with every single breath that I take", "I'm missing you so damn much", "I  miss your smile, your voice, or should I say I miss everything about you!!!".

P/S: I don't know what to say anymore..I can't thinking wisely at the time being..I'm in dilemma..

Lots of Love,